What I didn’t tell him was that we planned to paint the car with
some colorful graduation messages - which didn’t present a problem
for me since we would use water-based tempera paint and take it through
the car wash before coming home. A cinch. The problem was, it was a terribly
hot day at the beach and the sun literally baked the paint into the finish
of the car! The car wash - two times through - only removed a little of
the paint which now decorated the car and spelled disaster for me. When
I pulled the car into the driveway that evening, my heart was pounding:
What is he going to say? How am I going to get through this? I
thought there would be a volcanic eruption. But to my surprise, despite
his initial shock, Dad was measured and calm. He simply and slowly asked,
what in the world happened? Feeling like a complete buffoon,
I stumbled to explain the whole failed plan, at which point he began to
laugh - probably at my stupidity! Finally, he said, OK, well get out
the rubbing compound. . . and we’ll get the paint out.
And he continued to laugh as he relayed the story to my mother and the
nosey neighbors! But for me, a miracle had taken place. I was relieved,
yes, but there was a deeper imprint, too. In light of his nearly instant
forgiveness and understanding, I felt humbled and inadequate: what
did I do to deserve this? I had a new awareness of how self-centered
this teenage son could be, how half-hearted my response had been so often
in the face of this heartfelt generosity. Somehow, it was a defining day.
We have three characters in our Scripture today, and each of them when
confronted with the greatness, the goodness and the holiness of God, felt
like saps: they became keenly aware of their unworthiness. Peter, upon
seeing the two boats nearly sink from the miraculous catch of fish, comes
to see Jesus in a new way. He falls to his knees and says, Leave me,
Lord, for I am a sinful man. His response echoes the poet Isaiah,
who is confronted with God’s majesty shining forth and filling the
Temple. Isaiah says, Woe is me, I am doomed. For I am a man of unclean
lips living among a people of unclean lips. Paul, in the second reading,
is clearly taken aback, aware that God chose him, he says, the least
of the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted
the church of God.
All of us, I think, can identify with Peter, Paul and Isaiah, when
we come to that deep awareness of our moral inadequacy: that we have screwed
up and failed. Sometimes, we can get stuck there, feeling that our flaws
disqualify us from really answering God’s call and serving God’s
Reign. Yet our readings today paint another picture, one that offers us
consolation and hope. They speak to us of a God who comes to us and calls
us, not because we are “good enough,” but because of who God
is: God is love. This is the God who is passionately in love with us,
who not only forgives us, but uses our weakness to do wonderful things
for catching others in the net of his love and mercy.
Look at Paul: the same person who persecuted Christians was forgiven,
and in that power was called by Christ to go out and preach the Gospel
to the Gentiles. Look at Peter: a weak, stubborn and seemingly fair-weather
friend, who denied Jesus three times after promising otherwise, who turned
and wept for his failure. This is the same person whom Jesus called to
lead his church, to preach and heal. Look closely at those whom God has
called down through the centuries: Abraham, Sarah, Moses, David, Matthew,
Zacchaeus, Mary Magdalene, Francis of Assisi, Augustine of Hippo. All
were frail; all were sinners. Yet God worked through their weakness as
God works through ours—touching us and transforming us: our actions,
our apathy, our attitudes, our unclean lips and unclean lives. God touches
with acceptance and encouragement, with warm and gracious words: I
love you. Be not afraid. Now take this love out to the world.
Today’s Gospel is not simply about a famous moment 2000 years
ago by the Sea of Galilee. It’s about right now, in the defining
moments of our daily lives. God is always touching us and calling us—warts,
weakness and all—through Jesus, with his words, “Follow me.”
He comes not only in worship, but in the frustration of hard work where
we catch nothing, in the times where it seems we are sinking; God comes
not only in washing our nets but in washing our dishes and waiting to
pick up the kids from soccer practice; he calls us in the people we love
and in people who drive us crazy, even those we call our enemies. He calls
us to hear his voice, to bring the compassion and justice of God to a
world that needs it desperately.
We come to the Eucharist today to receive once more the gift of God’s
liberating love in Jesus, and to be strengthened in hearing God’s
call. We pray that we too will surrender and respond in faith with our
hearts and lives, “Here I am, Lord. Send me.”